~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Kids~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, December 23, 2013

Bittersweet Announcement

With each of our five children we have announced very soon after finding out we were expecting. It is always such a joyous time for us and we want to celebrate each new life with all of our friends and family.  Sadly, we have not always been met with positive comments.  We have gotten a lot of these:

-You know what causes that?
-You need cable.
-How can you afford all those kids?
-You aint got that “fixed” yet? (If you'd like our take on that you can read here.)
-You are being irresponsible.
-Glad it’s you and not me.

Six weeks ago we found out we were expecting and couldn’t have been happier. We were already about 5 weeks along, but this time we decided to hold off on announcing.  While it didn’t feel right, we decided it was for the best. I told a few people (because I honestly can’t keep my mouth shut) and Todd also told a few. We didn’t tell our children because we didn’t think they could keep it quiet. 

So for the last six weeks we have hidden this small soul from the rest of the world. We have not made phone calls giddy with excitement. I haven’t told old friends I might see in the grocery store and shared a big hug. We did not make a fun family picture announcement to post on facebook.  We didn’t discuss whether it was a boy or girl or talk about name possibilities for fear the kids would overhear. We didn’t enjoy this little life to the fullest while we had it. 

Yesterday I went through the most painful thing I have ever gone through, both emotionally and physically.

I lost our baby.

This precious life that we kept secret is gone.   Even though this is not the fun and exciting announcement I had hoped for, I refuse to hide it any longer. I want everyone to know that there is a beautiful soul that we will meet in Heaven one day and it is our child. 

I have definitely learned a lesson.  Live for today and be thankful. Don’t worry what others may say or think. This is my life to live and it is between me, my husband and God how many children we may be blessed to have. I am thankful for grace and second chances and I pray the Lord will bless us again. When and if He does, I will most certainly shout it from the rooftops.

Have a blessed day! ~Tammy


Jennifer Hayes said...

Tammy, I am so sorry to read this. It is so hard to go through losing a baby but how thankful I am for the promise of Heaven! Please know that you and Todd are in my prayers.

Jennifer Hayes said...

Tammy, I am so sorry to read this. It is so hard to go through losing a baby but how thankful I am for the promise of Heaven! Please know that you and Todd are in my prayers.

Leah Schuch said...

Oh, Tammy and Todd, so sorry for the loss of your little one. Unfortunately you will hear many hurtful comments from well-meaning friends and family. I could write a book about what we heard when we lost Jamie at 6 months. But they really are trying to be comforting. I pray that God heals your broken hearts and brings you another child to love. May you be able to minister to others who have loved and lost a child.

Tammy said...

Thank you both. I appreciate the prayers. Yes Leah, I try to remind myself that most of the comments are said out of love even if they seem hurtful to me. So many people have told me of their own loss. Seems like this is a taboo subject that most don't talk about. I would love it if this post would help at least one person know they are not alone.

Chrissy Betts said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. The loss of a pregnancy is difficult regardless what number it is. I lost #3. I got prey with Audrey around the time Alex would have been born (We have named the baby Alex until we get to heaven to see is its Alexander or Alexandra, we wanted it to still have an A name like the rest). I too was conceived a month or two after my mom lost my older brother. We will never know why one child gives up their journey but sometimes its for a sibling to get theirs.

Tammy said...

Thank you for sharing Chrissy. It means a lot.