It has been weighing on my mind that our Bittersweet Announcement came across as a way to bring attention to my grief. The fact that I was still on prescription pain meds probably didn't help with clarity of the post. LOL Of course I am grieving, but there was more than one reason for writing. I felt it was important to put it out there because so many feel like they can't share about miscarriage. Like it's a taboo subject. It's amazing how many women come out of the woodwork when you have a loss, letting you know they too know how it feels. :( To that point, there are a LOT of women that have gone through a miscarriage. I am no one special. It will be difficult but I will move on.
The main reason for my post was to acknowledge that I had not been true to my beliefs. I had purposely hidden this baby from most everyone because of comments from other people. Once the baby was gone it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was ashamed of myself. I felt like I had let this child down. As a mother I am supposed to be there for my children no matter what. What have I done? Those were the thoughts that ran through my head that day. So that post was my way of standing up for my child. To show that I was not ashamed.
While I don't intentionally want to hurt anyone and cause strife, I also will no longer apologize for being happy to have children. I will not tip-toe around for fear of offending someone. If they have a problem with it, that is between them and God. What our family chooses is between my husband, myself and God.
Have a blessed day!
~Tammy
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